How it all began….
It was during the Mesozoic Era, second of Earth's three major geologic eras of Phanerozoic time. This Era began 252.2 million years ago, following the conclusion of the Paleozoic Era, and ended 66 million years ago, at the dawn of the Cenozoic Era. It was during the end of the Mesozoic Era that the first Clamper was recorded in history. Naturally he was naked, without a red shirt at this time, however he did use what some historians believe to be the first Hewgag, which made from the horn of a Triceratops.
This is perhaps the first beginning of E Clampus Erectus.
HOWEVER….
The Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus originated in the backroads of Doddridge County, Virginia under Ephriam Bee, our Founder about 1845. Owner of the “Beehive tavern”, he took the title “Noble Grand Gyascutis”. Ephriam was a talented blacksmith, Postmaster, land dealer but mainly known for playing practical jokes on prominent folks.
Ephriam’s origins are as tangled as the organization. Born in 1799 or 1802 in either Salem NJ or Harrison Co. VA, his history is murky. He married Catherine Davis in 1823 and sired 10 children.
After her death, he married a younger woman, Mary Welch and had seven more--
seventeen children in all; a real Clamper!
The history of the organization is steeped in mythology. Legend has it that around 1845, shortly after American minister Caleb Cushing returned from negotiating a treaty with China, Bee revealed that the Emperor of China had entrusted him with certain sacred rituals from the mysterious East.
Thus, E Clampus Vitus was established at Meat House
Fork on Middle Island Creek, near the present town of West Union, West Virginia when Ephriam accepted this commission to “extend the work and influence of the Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus.”
Located near West Union in a small churchyard is a tall obelisk. This is said to be Ephriam’s burial place as details of his life and “ECV” are carved into its granite; our Holy Grail!
Joel Zumwalt, under some direction by Ephriam, carried the orders sacred rituals westward to
California in 1849. Zumwalt opened ECV lodge #1001 at Mokelumne in 1851, considered the inception of ECV in California. Miners, looked down upon by the elite organizations, were only too happy to join ECV, after sharing their poke of gold, then sharing the Brotherhood we see today. ECV sprang to life in the mining camps of the Mother Lode, emerging as a parody of the self-serious fraternal orders of the day as well as a respite from the tough work grizzled miners performed daily. Adorned in red shirts and “wearing of the tin” (badges cut from cut out tin can lids) they stood far and away from ceremonial attire of the “upscale” fraternities from which the miners were excluded.
The Brotherhood performed good deeds when tragedy struck in form of helping Widows and Orphans morning the loss of their men in mining accidents or fire destroying their cabin.
Brothers would rebuild and chip in to convey joy to the distraught family with gifts and toys,
thus the ongoing mission “Care for Widows and Orphans, but especially the Widows”.
The head Potentate of each Chapter is titled “Noble Grand Humbug”. Other senior Officers are
Grand Impurturbable Hangman, Roisterous Iscutis, Grand Vitrix, Gold Dust Receiver et al.
The words “E Clampsus Vitus” have forever been enveloped in mystery; we’ll leave it there.
Our motto “Credo Quia Absurdum” is generally understood as meaning “I believe because it is
absurd”, a rather apt title for Clamperdom. Sadly, as mining dwindled, so did ECV at the end of
the nineteenth century.
AND NOW….
Our modern organization was revived in 1931 by Carl Wheat, a San Francisco lawyer and amateur historian of great repute. Over strong waters at the Clift Hotel, Wheat convinced Leon Whitsell and George Ezra Dane along with some of his buddies from the California Historical Society that the Gold Rush spoof should be revived, with a new historical mission. It would be,
Wheat proclaimed, a “comic strip on the page of California history.” Yerba Buena #1 was thus
formed to lead the charge. About that time, Adam Lee Moore, one of the last Noble Grand Humbugs of Balaam Lodge # 107,364 in Sierra City emerged. He recalled the ritual used today.
In the early days initiation was informal. PBC initiates called “Poor Blind Candidates” ante’d up
their poke of gold, usually in the backroom of a nearby saloon. Today, “HOCO”, or the “Halls of
Comparative Ovation”, our sacred rites of passage, must be successfully passed by PBC’s for
their enlightenment and entry into the Brotherhood.
Three things are considered for entry; love of Ca’la History, a sense of humor and a cast iron
stomach….to survive the victuals consumed at our “Doins”. These periodic gatherings bring in
new members, anoint newly placed plaques celebrating otherwise lost Western history and
give pause for pure brotherly fun. We are still heavily involved helping each other as well as
support of Community projects or financial help to worthwhile charities.
“All Members are deemed Officers and all Officers are of Equal Indignity”; all members are
dubbed Chairman of the Most Important Committee.”
As more and more Chapters formed, an overseer group was needed. Proctors under the
Sublime Noble Grand Humbug called “Grand Council” which was formed in 1956 by Carl Wheat.
Yerba Buena-1, which created the Council has, therefore, technically and benevolently ceded its
territories to create Outposts and Provisionals across the land to Chapterhood.
Currently there are over fifty Chapters in over ten western states, plus Cyber Whang Chapter somewhere deep in outer space.
It is said that Adam was the first Clampatriarch, likely factual as we trace our roots back to
4005 BC; This is well-documented from inception by direct word of mouth passage Humbug to
Humbug. Nothing is lost in these translations. Some early members include Ulysses S. Grant,
Andrew Jackson, Solomon, Julius Caesar, Henry Vlll, Ronald Reagan, Sir Francis Drake and His
Imperial Majesty Joshua Abraham Norton whose celebration at his grave in Colma, CA kicks off
the Clamper year annually.
ECV thrives to this day as opposed to decline of the many elite organizations we parody. A
Brother brought in is for life if he maintains the dignity and integrity imbued in his initiation.
What say the Brethern? “SATISFACTORY” is the required response….and so recorded!
XNGH Rick "Capt'n Crunch" Saber
Lodge Historian
CURRENT OFFICERS OF YERBA BUENA#1
Joseph Amster "The Noble Double" - Noble Grand Humbug
Joseph “Archimedes” Sheppard - VNGH
Dennis Moore - Noble Grand Recorder
Rory “Downward Dog” Downward - Gold Dust Receiver
Mike "Mountain Mike" Russell - Damn Fool Doorkeeper
Carlos “Keyster” Fred - Grand Imperturbable Hangman
Mike “Hammerhead” Gaub Noble Grand Erectionist
John "Wrong-way" Perez - Publican
Chris "Hawt Dawg" Carney - Dead Salmon
Rick Saber "Capn' Crunch" - Historian
Jim Alvarado - Rafflemeister
Bo Pollard - Royal Surgeon
Morgan Torr - Royal Platrix
XNGH Rick Schrier - Hawker
Clamp Ambassador Korey "Rivet" Luna - Webmaster
"Confusion" Kai Wada Roath -Clampatriarch